Trust is THE most important but it translates into how it can be managed and leveraged, specifically: Peers = will you be my ally?; Superiors = will you represent my mission and me well?; Subordinates = will you protect me and grow my career? Since trust comes across as warmth it is perceived as being likable. So, trust = warmth = likability. We never fully analyze our internal thought processes and break it down or categorize it but this is how we are subconsciously interpreting co-workers and how we are being interpreted.

I have worked with brilliant people who were moved out of the organization because they “didn’t fit”. Doesn’t that translate to “they weren’t likable”, “they didn’t present well, or have that executive presence”, or “they weren’t approachable/friendly”? All this adds up to not being trusted and not being able to be managed or leveraged across the organization.

I have also worked with some rather dim people who soared their way up the ladder. They couldn’t understand the first thing about the business they represented but they had that “it” factor. They were warm and charming and got along well with others. When they talked (whether they knew what they were talking about or not), people listened and BELIEVED. Doesn’t that translate to “they were likable”, “they presented well, and had that executive presence”, or “they were approachable/friendly”? All this adds up to being trusted and being able to be managed or leveraged across the organization.

I was taught to work hard, be ethical and do right and all will work to the good in the end — the company you work for will grow and prosper and you’ll be rewarded and recognized for your contribution. The big reveal to me that this isn’t how the world actually works is that organizations, regardless of size, are made up of people trying to either grow themselves, protect themselves, or just maintain themselves. This mentality means that the company mission and the business goals are preached but only followed and reached for only if it coincides with the individuals mission and goals. If those align, great. But, in many cases they don’t align and the corporate culture of gamesmanship and politics win out.

If I had known all this when I was in high school deciding what to do with my life I would have taken an alternate path. I truly wish there was more honesty about how organizations work so that others could avoid if they determine it doesn’t match with their personality, belief system and values.

Likability is not about being a “yes man” or “yes woman” as presented in the article. Very few executives and managers truly like people who are obsequious. Instead, likability should be viewed as culture fit. Do you fit in with the culture of the organization? Does your personality and skill set complement, rather than compete with, those of your peers and managers? Do you make your co-workers perform better? When you have likability in these terms, combined with trust and competence to perform at a high level, your tenure with a company is likely to be long indeed.